Tag Archives: Consent and Negotiation

CONSENT AT APEX

APEX helped the NCSF create Consent Month because consent is the most important thing we do. APEX has a Code of Conduct, some etiquette and rules, but our culture relies on people to draw good boundaries and be willing to speak up about consent. Are we, as a club, doing enough? Could we be doing more? How to we further enforce the consent culture at APEX.

We will discuss consent at APEX and how it applies to our membership. All members are welcome. There is no charge for this class, but it is important to bring all of your great ideas, and think about how we can further our own culture to make APEX the greatest example of consent culture in the country!

If there is a subject that you are interested in seeing or teaching, please email Mondays@ArizonaPowerExchange.org.

OPEN TO ALL APEX MEMBERS*

No Charge

CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT: REALITY VS. FANTASY @ APEX

*Power…control…obedience…I want it.  you will do as I say.  I don’t care about your wants or needs.  you no longer have the right to agree or disagree.  Anything I desire, you’ll do.  If you question Me, you’ll be punished.  If you don’t do what I say, you’ll be punished.  you no longer have a safe word.  you are not My equal.  Oh…and you cannot leave unless I release you.*

Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) is a controversial topic.  Everyone has a view point and they are all valid.  This type of dynamic isn’t for everyone.  Why do people use it?  Why isn’t it right for some?  Does it really remove consent?

Myths about CNC:

-CNC is the ONLY way to conduct a true M/s dynamic

-CNC is for predatory Tops and naive bottoms

-CNC is not RACK

In this class, we will explore Consensual Non-Consent.  What it is, what it could be, and how it can be a powerful tool.  We will also discuss some of the dangers of CNC.  We will demonstrate how it can work in various dynamics and situations.  We will explore the difficulties and adjustments in switching from a consensual power dynamic to a CNC dynamic.

Please bring your questions, concerns and an open mind as we explore this topic!

About the Presenter:

Mistress Nerissa enjoys exploring BDSM. Each year seems to bring something new and exciting to her life which she embraces with enthusiasm. When she is not living her very active life, she is a co-owner of The Kink Factory and enjoys making fun, sensual and sadistic BDSM tools for everyone to enjoy.

If there is a subject that you are interested in seeing or teaching, please email Mondays@ArizonaPowerExchange.org.

OPEN TO ALL APEX MEMBERS*

$6.00 for Pay Per Event Members, FREE for ALL Access Members.

*Occasionally we will do a class that is open to the entire adult community as a service. Please look for these with the note “Open to our entire 18+ Community”.*

To Learn More about APEX Membership Please visit the website: http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/membership

APEX 101 – SKILLS: COMMUNICATION AND NEGOTIATION @ APEX

Lifestyle folks sometimes seem to speak another language. What works in the vanilla world is sometimes demonized in the the lifestyle. Before you know it someone thinks you are disrespectful or predatory when you were just trying to say “hello”. How do you approach people? How do you ask someone to play? How do you effectively negotiate when you don’t have years of experience? Learn some tools to help you navigate the lifestyle language to include: How to approach someone and introduce yourself, avoiding the landmines of negotiation, a working vocabulary of the BDSM alphabet soup, and other effective communication tools.

You will get to see some role played negotiations for some real-life models to help you with the vocabulary to communicate boundaries/limits/wants. You will also get some real-world information on the different ways a negotiation can be structured so you can choose the method most comfortable for you.

The APEX 101 series is an introduction to specific skills. Come learn the basics of these skills. These classes are for beginners, those new to a particular kind of play, or someone wanting a ‘sampling’ of the possibilities and intended to make you comfortable with the general premise of the chosen fetish. Keep your eyes open for the APEX 202 class on your favorite subjects!

The APEX 101 series is designed to be a fun and interactive environment. You will get an overview of the evening, and then you can spend your time learning about the things you are interested in! This is an opportunity to ask questions, see up close how things work and in some cases even try those things!

© Copyright 2017: The Arizona Power Exchange

OPEN TO ALL APEX MEMBERS

$6.00 for Pay Per Event Members, and members of the Community, FREE for ALL Access Members.

To Learn More about APEX Membership Please visit the website: http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/membership

APEX 303: SKILLS – BLOODBORNE PATHOGENS

Bloodborne pathogens are infectious microorganisms in human blood that can cause disease in humans. These pathogens include, but are not limited to, hepatitis B (HBV), hepatitis C (HCV) and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Doing many types of play could put you and your partner(s) at risk for Bloodborne pathogens. Learn what they are, how they are transmitted, how to prevent them in various kinds of play, what to do when accidents happen, and what to do if you are exposed.

In this class you will learn:

  • What are bloodborne pathogens and how they are transmitted
  • How to protect yourself and your partner(s) from exposure during various kinds of play
  • How to negotiate consent around the issue of bloodborne pathogens
  • What to do when you are potentially exposed

Archer and Tess will facillitate and both hold various BBP certifications from various organizations such as OSHA, The Red Cross, and the Arizona Department of Health, and the National Safety Council (green cross).

ABOUT THE APEX 303’s

Continue your Education with the APEX 303’s. The APEX 303 is designed to provide an advanced education on various topics. Everyone is welcome.

For this month’s topic and details, please keep an eye on the APEX Group on Fetlife.com. or on our website at:http://www.arizonapowerexchange.net/apex-news/

For questions please email: Tess@ArizonaPowerExchange.org
© Copyright 2012: The Arizona Power Exchange

OPEN TO ALL APEX MEMBERS

All Access Members get in free, Pay Per Event Members are $6.00

To Learn More about APEX Membership Please visit the website:http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/membership

YES IS NOT ENOUGH: INFORMED CONSENT IN THE SCENE

Informed consent was coined by the health care industry. Informed consent is the process by which the treating health care provider discloses appropriate information to a competent patient so that the patient may make a voluntary choice to accept or refuse treatment. It originates from the legal and ethical right the patient has to direct what happens to her body and from the ethical duty of the physician to involve the patient in her health care.

In honor of National Consent Month, we will discuss Informed Consent. No ethical person in BDSM wants to violate consent. However, in a culture where definitions are a moving target, and expectations are wildly varied, how do we get beyond yes to meaningful dialogue where such a solid concept as informed consent exists?

What we will discuss:

  • Informed Consent in Health Care and how it directly applies to our culture
  • Consequences-While Malpractice isnt a risk for most of us, our consequences are just as severe
  • How to discover and discuss reasonable risk
  • We will give you examples of some of the unhealthy things we do when discussing our scenes and relationships that we dont even recognize
  • Employing the health care model, you can be in a position to say that youve told your partner everything they need to know, and done everything that you can to make sure everyone has provided informed consent.

NCSF and APEX will be giving away Got Consent? bracelets to everyone who attends!

If there is a subject that you are interested in seeing or teaching, please email Mondays@ArizonaPowerExchange.org.

OPEN TO THE ENTIRE 18+ Community*

In honor of Consent Month, we are opening several classes to the entire 18+ Community in order to bring consent topics to as many people as possible.

$6.00 for Pay Per Event Members, FREE for ALL Access Members.

*Occasionally we will do a class that is open to the entire adult community as a service. Please look for these with the note “Open to our entire 18+ Community”.*

To Learn More about APEX Membership Please visit the website:http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/membership

Consent for Kink Workshop with Yana Tallon-Hicks! (Northampton Discussion Munch)

This month we have something super awesome and special planned.

 We are bringing in the really cool local sex educator Yana Tallon-Hicks to do an interactive workshop and discussion on Consent and Kink!

 Yana is a paid speaker, being brought to you out of love by @AgreeableAgony and the Northampton Rope Group!

Anyone who is able to make donations to help offset the cost of bringing in awesome outside speakers is encouraged to donate. Donations are NOT required, but would be greatly appreciated so that we can make this happen again!

 Workshop Description:

 This workshop links intentional, consensual communication to greater sexual pleasure. Oftentimes the command “practice consent!” can seem like a tired directive, with little attention paid to how actively practicing consent leads to better communication and therefore greater sexual and intimate pleasure and connection.

 Through role plays, worksheets, brainstorms, and discussion, this interactive presentation gets participants practicing the skills necessary to bring consent out of this workshop and into their real-life romantic, intimate, and sexual relationships.

 Questions answered in this workshop include:

  •  What does good consent actually look like?
  • What words do I use?
  • What does that do for my partner?
  • What does that do for me?
  • How do I say no?
  • How do I accept a no gracefully?
  • How does becoming informed about communicative consent lead to greater pleasure?

Speaker Bio:

 Yana Tallon-Hicks is a consent, sex & sexuality writer and educator living in Northampton, MA. Her work centers around the belief that pleasure-positive & consent-based sex education can positively impact our lives and the world.

 Yana’s workshops about sexual pleasure, communication & consent are taught at colleges, high schools, and sex toy shops all over New England. She currently practices Couples Therapy as an MFT Graduate Student Therapist at the Couples Center of the Pioneer Valley in Northampton where she works with dyads from the poly, queer & kink communities.

 Read more about Yana & her work here, where you can also read her sex advice column, The V-Spot, found weekly in the Valley Advocate, follow her on Instagram & Twitter, and watch her TEDxTalk: Is the Porn Brain Our New Sex Educator?.

 Bring your own questions/thoughts/ideas! If you want to ask an anonymous question please feel free to message the Organizer (lazy-ninja)

Location & Parking info! Please Read1

 We will be meeting at the Platform Sports Bar (in Union Station) This month. They have a private room for us where we can hopefully have actual discussions/presenters.

 125A Pleasant St, Northampton, MA 01060

 We are in the private room in the back. Or Just come in and speak to the host inside — ask for WMPE

 PARKING:

 The Union Station/Platform Grill lot can be parked in for $5. That $5 will be fully applied toward your bill if you get food or drink at the event. So parking is FREE! — Bring cash.

 If you have any questions or concerns about attending a munch, or just want to talk to someone about it first — I am happy to chat with people who have not been to a munch before to try and connect them up with local munch goers, or just allay fears. — Send a message to Me – Lazy-ninja on Fetlife

 PS.

 POC, queer/trans, differently-abled, anyone, everyone, and then some especially welcome.

“Check your [bull]shit at the door and let the rainbow roll in”

 Sometimes we go out for drinks or ice cream afterward. We are just awesome like that.

STATE OF CONSENT with Susan Wright

Consent has taken center stage in national conversations, but how can we help move beyond sound bytes and buzzwords to create real change? Come explore consent and the movements for social change that are fighting against sexual violence to this day. Susan Wright will discuss what she’s learned about consent from her 25 years experience with BDSM advocacy, women’s rights, and victim advocacy services.

If there is a subject that you are interested in seeing or teaching, please email Mondays@ArizonaPowerExchange.org.

OPEN TO THE ENTIRE 18+ Community*

In honor of Consent Month, we are opening several classes to the entire 18+ Community in order to bring consent topics to as many people as possible.

$6.00 for Pay Per Event Members, FREE for ALL Access Members.

*Occasionally we will do a class that is open to the entire adult community as a service. Please look for these with the note “Open to our entire 18+ Community”.*

To Learn More about APEX Membership Please visit the website:http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/membership

APEX 101 – SKILLS: COMMUNICATION AND NEGOTIATION

Lifestyle folks sometimes seem to speak another language. What works in the vanilla world is sometimes demonized in the the lifestyle. Before you know it someone thinks you are disrespectful or predatory when you were just trying to say “hello”. How do you approach people? How do you ask someone to play? How do you effectively negotiate when you don’t have years of experience? Learn some tools to help you navigate the lifestyle language to include: How to approach someone and introduce yourself, avoiding the landmines of negotiation, a working vocabulary of the BDSM alphabet soup, and other effective communication tools.

You will get to see some role played negotiations for some real-life models to help you with the vocabulary to communicate boundaries/limits/wants. You will also get some real-world information on the different ways a negotiation can be structured so you can choose the method most comfortable for you.

The APEX 101 series is an introduction to specific skills. Come learn the basics of these skills. These classes are for beginners, those new to a particular kind of play, or someone wanting a ‘sampling’ of the possibilities and intended to make you comfortable with the general premise of the chosen fetish. Keep your eyes open for the APEX 202 class on your favorite subjects!

The APEX 101 series is designed to be a fun and interactive environment. You will get an overview of the evening, and then you can spend your time learning about the things you are interested in! This is an opportunity to ask questions, see up close how things work and in some cases even try those things!

Copyright 2012: The Arizona Power Exchange

OPEN TO ALL APEX MEMBERS

$6 for Pay Per Event Members, FREE for All Access Members

CSPC Seattle, WA Consent & Negotiation for a Sex Positive World with Sar Surmick

Consent & Negotiation for a Sex Positive World | Foundation for Sex Positive Culture

Consent & Negotiation for a Sex Positive World with Sar Surmick

When: 7PM to 8:30PM
Where: Raw Space
Who: Anyone 18+ with ID
Cost at the door: $15. $10 in advance.
Free for current CSPC members.

Whether you’re brand new to Sex Positive Culture or an old hand, there are two primary skills you need to navigate interacting with others:
1) Consent – Most of us have learned the idea that No means No, but consent in a Sex Positive World goes way beyond that. Come to explore how to move beyond simply giving or accepting a No. Come and learn how to move towards an informed Yes and even an enthusiastic Yes.
2) Negotiation – It’s a simple idea: sit down with someone to come to a mutual understanding about what you want, what they want, and what the boundaries are. And, this simple idea can get difficult when you’re negotiating emotional, complicated, or vulnerable things. Come and get some tips, tricks and tools about how to have a good and effective negotiation with someone whether you’re requesting a new relationship, tonight’s sex, or a first hug.

Join us for this opening discussion on these two very important skills. Then take what you learn out into the larger world (or to the Chill that night) to help us create a more Sex Positive World one interaction at a time.

About the Educator:

Sar Surmick is a Marriage and Family Therapist and Sexuality Educator currently located in Redmond, WA. Sar specializes in working within the Poly, Kink, and Queer communities, seeing couples, individuals, and families. Sar has been speaking on the importance of communication in relationships, understanding the role identity plays in a person’s life, and working from a sex-positive perspective for some time and continues to work on the same. More information about Sar and his practice can be found at: www.significantconnections.com

Contact Sar to RSVP or with Questions at: sar.therapist@gmail.com

This workshop is presented by the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture. Please go to TheFSPC.org for more information.

This event is sponsored by the Center for Sex Positive Culture.